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Is snoring sending you to separate beds?
Screening for sleep apnea may be the solution that reunites you
Are you dreaming about sleeping soundly next to a partner, but snoring keeps giving you both rude awakenings?
If one of you snores so much and so loudly it keeps the other up all night, chances are you’re considering whether sleeping separately is the only solution for sound sleep.
But before you go through a “sleep divorce,” it might be time to find out if the snoring partner has a treatable sleep disorder.
Snoring and sleep disorders
Frequent, loud snoring is a sign of obstructive sleep apnea (OSA), a serious but treatable sleep disorder that affects approximately 30 million people in the United States and more than a billion globally.1,2 And guess what? Most people (up to 90%) with obstructive sleep apnea don’t know they have it.3 Other signs someone may have obstructive sleep apnea include:
Being a restless sleeper and waking up frequently
Feeling exhausted, falling asleep or napping during the day
Finding it hard to focus, stay alert, remember things or be motivated
Emotional changes, like being moody, irritable, easily angered, feeling depressed or anxious
Frequently waking up with a headache, dry mouth or sore throat
To be clear, not everyone who snores or has these signs has obstructive sleep apnea or another type of sleep disorder like insomnia. But many do.
Estimates vary, but up to 50% of people snore sometimes and about 25% of people snore regularly.4, 5 For those who snore loudly and regularly, research suggests about 50% of them may have obstructive sleep apnea.4
On the other hand, some of these people simply snore.
The key difference is related to the breathing pattern.
Finding out if it’s a sleep disorder
Simply snoring (called “primary snoring”) happens when the tissues in the back of your throat vibrate when you breathe in air, causing the rattling sound. With primary snoring, you can breathe regularly and get enough oxygen. You can also still get enough quality sleep, even if your bed partner doesn’t. So, as long as you’re getting enough oxygen and quality sleep, this snoring itself isn’t usually a major health concern, but it may disturb your bed partner.
With obstructive sleep apnea, the vibrations still cause the rattling sound, but your breathing gets interrupted and you don’t get enough oxygen or sound sleep.
With obstructive sleep apnea, your airway muscles and tongue relax into a position that narrows or blocks your airway during sleep. This severely limits or stops your breathing for short periods, until your brain notices and alerts you to wake up at least long enough to take a breath. You may or may not remember waking up. This cycle may repeat hundreds of times throughout the night while you try to sleep.
At the same time, the ongoing breathing interruptions make it harder for your body to get enough oxygen. This puts stress on your heart, lungs, brain and other vital organs. Over time, the continued stress puts you at higher risk for serious medical conditions, including high blood pressure, stroke, heart failure, diabetes and depression. It can also worsen any existing health conditions you may have, weaken your immune system, and compromise your overall health and well-being – and your relationships.
Sleep apnea solutions
To know if the snoring partner has sleep apnea, they will need to get properly screened and diagnosed. To get screened, the snoring partner will need to see a medical provider, like a primary care or sleep physician.
The provider will gather information about your symptoms, lifestyle and other health conditions. If their analysis points to a potential sleep disorder, they will typically have you go through a sleep study to monitor your breathing, brain activity and other factors. The results can usually tell them if you have obstructive sleep apnea or another type of sleep disorder. If you do, they will make treatment recommendations based on your condition, age, insurance coverage, health and well-being.
For obstructive sleep apnea, medical treatment typically begins with a continuous positive air pressure (CPAP) system. You wear a mask that’s connected to a hose that’s connected to a machine, so air can be forced directly into your airway to help you breathe.
Some struggle with CPAP
While CPAP works for some people, unfortunately, many people find the mask and hose uncomfortable and don’t like the daily cleaning the system requires. In addition, some feel self-conscious wearing the mask and hose in front of a bed partner, and some bed partners find the machine too noisy to sleep near. As a result, about half of CPAP patients6,7 struggle with it or stop using it.
If they do, Inspire® therapy is one of the most chosen next-line options. Meaning, when someone can’t tolerate CPAP, they may qualify for this leading – and longest in use – FDA-approved nerve stimulation therapy for treating obstructive sleep apnea. And 91% of Inspire patients say Inspire therapy is better than CPAP.8
Nerve stimulation therapy
Instead of using a machine outside of your body to force air into your airway through a hose and mask, the Inspire® implant works comfortably9 inside your body to treat the root cause of your obstructive sleep apnea. The small implant, placed under your skin near your collarbone during a short outpatient procedure, delivers gentle pulses to your airway muscles while you sleep. These pulses help keep your airway open, so you can breathe regularly and sleep soundly. You use a small remote control to turn the therapy on and off.
Another benefit of Inspire therapy is it’s nearly invisible, so bed partners can’t hear it or see it. They also don’t hear much in the way of rattling, snorting and gasping either – most bed partners (90%) report no snoring or soft snoring.10 (Read more about real Inspire patient experiences here.)
Additional treatment options
In addition to CPAP and Inspire therapy, other treatment options may include wearing dental appliances, losing weight if you’re overweight, and, less commonly, undergoing surgery to adjust the structure of your nose, mouth, throat or jaw to improve airflow.
The key takeaway is obstructive sleep apnea is treatable. With the right treatment for them and their lifestyles, many people – including bedmates – go on to sleep well, feel well and live more fulfilling lives.
Sleeping more soundly with each other
At the same time, whether or not you have obstructive sleep apnea or another type of sleep disorder, there are steps snuggle buddies can take that may help reduce snoring. One way is to be aware that anything that slows breathing or relaxes muscles too much can make snoring – and sleep apnea – worse. So, avoid drinking alcohol and using sleeping pills.
Other ways to try to improve airflow and reduce snoring include:
Sleeping on your side with your mouth closed
Elevating your head and upper body, such as by using a wedge pillow
Maintaining a healthy weight – and if you’re overweight losing it
Using over-the-counter remedies, like nasal spray, nasal strips or a mouth guard to help
Practicing good sleep hygiene, such as going to bed and getting up at the same time each day and creating a comfortable sleep environment with comfortable bedding, a cool temperature and enough darkness.
Consult with a healthcare professional
If snoring has you sleeping separately, consider talking to a medical professional. They can help determine what’s at root – and help you and your love reunite night after night.
Sources
American Medical Association, What doctors wish patients knew about sleep apnea. April 1, 2022.
Cleveland Clinic, Sleep Apnea: What It Is, Causes, Symptoms & Treatment. January 15, 2025.
Johns Hopkins Medicine, Obstructive Sleep Apnea. Accessed April 29, 2025.
Johns Hopkins Medicine, Snoring. Accessed April 28, 2025.
JAMA Otolaryngology – Head & Neck Surgery, What Is Snoring? January 26, 2023.
Rotenberg et al. Trends in CPAP adherence over twenty years of data collection: a flattened curve. Journal of Otolaryngology Head and Neck Surgery 2016; 45:43
Weaver, TE, Sawyer, AM. "Adherence to Continuous Positive Airway Pressure Treatment for Obstructive Sleep Apnea: Implications for Future Inventions." Indian Journal of Medical Research, 2010; 131: 245-258
Data on file.
9. Suurna MV, Steffen A, Boon M, et al. Impact of Body Mass Index and Discomfort on Upper Airway Stimulation: ADHERE Registry 2020 Update. Laryngoscope 2021; 131(11): 2616-2624.
10. Woodson BT, Strohl KP, Soose RJ, et al. Upper Airway Stimulation for Obstructive Sleep Apnea: 5-Year Outcomes. Otolaryngology Head Neck Surgery 2018; 159(1):194-202)
American Academy of Sleep Medicine, Over a third of Americans opt for a “sleep divorce.” July 10, 2023.
Cleveland Clinic, What Is Sleep Divorce? The Benefits Explained. August 7, 2023.
Harvard Health, I can’t tolerate CPAP, what can I do? July 29, 2020.
RAND, Sleep Alliance: Rebranding Sleep Divorce for Better Rest and Relationships. July 18, 2024.
Sleep Foundation, Do We Sleep Longer When We Share a Bed? March 28, 2023.
Sleep Health Foundation, Snoring. March 21, 2024.
Sleep Foundation, What Is a Sleep Divorce? February 21, 2024.
University Hospitals, Sleeping with a Snorer: Are Both Doomed to Bad Sleep? October 11, 2022.